Personal Image
① Whenever you ask, “How do I look?” of course you hope the answer is, “Fantastic!” We ask this question because we care about how other people see us. Caring is one of the keys to developing a good personal image. This image—what we wear, how we look—represents not just how we choose to present ourselves but reflects the importance we attach to the occasion and the people we’re with.
② The etiquette of dressing and grooming today involves few rules but a great deal of emphasis on doing what helps people feel comfortable in their interactions. Individuality and personal expression have their place, but a considerate person doesn’t dress in a way that will make others feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
③ Be prepared to adjust what you wear to the situation. If you’re selling a concept to the board of directors, you might choose a suit. If you meet with a client at a media company where jeans and T-shirts are the norm, dressing too conservatively could signal that you’re out of touch with the culture there.
④ Traditional-versus-casual dress questions come up in social situations as well. Anything more casual than a sports jacket or fairly dressy dress may be inappropriate for a cocktail party, while shorts and flip-flops might be fine for a backyard cookout. Tradition does hold its own most firmly with formal wear.
Taking Care of Your Person
① Hair. Clean, shiny, well-cut hair looks great and never goes out of style. Comb it often to keep it neat.
② Nails. The basics of nail care for women and men include neatly trimmed nails and cuticles, both of which can be done at home. If you wear polish, maintain it regularly. If you’re a nail biter, keep your nails short and filed to prevent them from looking ragged.
And don’t forget your feet! Open-toed shoes, sandals, or flip-flops call for well-trimmed nails and clean feet, whether you’re a man or a woman.
③ Perfume and cologne. Apply perfume or cologne sparingly. If your scent lingers in the room after you leave, you’re wearing too much. Unfortunately, the perfume you love may offend someone else or even cause an allergic reaction. Mixing scents—scented deodorant, hair and bath products, and cologne or perfume—can also be disagreeable. Some workplaces have “no scent” policies, so check yours out. The gym is another place to refrain from using perfume as exercise can intensify the scent.
Q: My boyfriend and I were out for dinner last night with another couple. When my contact lenses started hurting while we waited for dessert, I changed them at the table. Later, my boyfriend said I should have done it in the ladies’ room. Is he right?
A: Yes, he is. What is a simple process for the contact lens wearer can be quite unpleasant for other people to watch. All personal care should be taken care of in a restroom.
(If you have an emergency it’s okay to remove your lens immediately, then excuse yourself to the restroom.)
Primping in public?
① Flossing on the bus? Applying nail polish on the commuter train? Cutting toenails at your desk? Why is it that some people feel it’s okay to perform some of the most private grooming chores in public? We may feel anonymous but we certainly aren’t invisible! Excuse yourself to a restroom or other private place to apply powder, blusher, mascara, or scent.
② The etiquette of dressing and grooming today involves few rules but a great deal of emphasis on doing what helps people feel comfortable in their interactions. Individuality and personal expression have their place, but a considerate person doesn’t dress in a way that will make others feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
③ And what about applying lipstick in public? It’s okay if you can do so without being obvious. But it’s hard to be discreet when eating dinner at a nice restaurant or sitting next to your boss in a business meeting. In these instances, excuse yourself and apply your lipstick in the restroom. Among friends at a casual occasion, it’s fine to do a quick application of lipstick or gloss right after a meal.
④ Makeup. Types and degree of facial makeup are matters of personal taste, but the most attractive makeup choices are based on circumstances. Sparing use of cosmetics for a clean, natural look is usually preferable for work and daytime activities, with a bolder look for nighttime social events.
When Too Much Is Too Much
If people focus on the clothes you are wearing rather than on you, then you’re wearing the wrong clothes. Consider where you’ll be and whom you’ll be with, then make sure your clothes aren’t
• Too tight
• Too short
• Too low-cut
• Too loud
• Too sheer
(And gentlemen, take note: These guidelines are for you, too!)