Important Manners For Every Day
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No one wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror, and says, "I think I'll be rude today." Most of us think of ourselves as polite, but when we're in a hurry or dealing with strangers we don't always use the manners we know we should.
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Yet it only takes a moment to use the simplest courtesies, and what a difference that can make to our interactions. Good manners start with the famous "magic words."
The Magic Words
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You learned them as children: "May I have a cookie, please?" almost always worked​, while "I want a cookie" didn't get you a crumb. "Please," "Thank you," "You're welcome," "Excuse me," and "I'm sorry" are just as important for adults.
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These essential words are effortless to say to convey a wealth of meaning to others. They're powerful for their ability to create positive interactions. "Thank you" shows that a gift or a favor is appreciated instead of expected. "Please" changes a demand into a request. "Excuse me" says your mistake wasn't intentional.
As you tell children, "please" is really a magic word because it changes a command into a request. Using "please" expresses both respect and consideration for those with whom we're interacting, and it sets the tone for whatever follows. Along with "thank you," it is one of the two most important universal manners.
Most people know to express their thanks for gifts, favors, awards, and the like. But we sometimes fail to recognize and show appreciation for the everyday courtesies that come to your ways, such as when someone holds the door or lets us go ahead in line. Small kindnesses can go almost unnoticed if people are too busy or self-absorbed to care. Expressing thanks for these little services is a hallmark of civility.
When someone says, "Thank you," the best response is, "You're welcome." Don't be bashful ---accept the credit for your kindness. It's subtle, but an "It was nothing" is actually saying that you place no value on what you did. So don't brush off an expression of gratitude. By accepting thanks graciously you can also encourage the "thank-you" habit.
"Excuse me," "Pardon me," and " I beg your pardon" all express your awareness that you've inconvenienced someone else. Bump into someone? "Excuse me" lets the person know that it wasn't intentional and calms the situation. Make it a habit to excuse yourself whenever you do the following:
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Make a necessary interruption: "Excuse me, but you have a phone call."
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Make a request: "Excuse me. I didn't realize that you were already waiting in line."
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Acknowledge a faux pas, such as burping: "Excuse me."
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Leave a conversation: "Excuse me, I wish I could chat longer, but I have to leave now."
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Get up from the table: "Please excuse me."
"I'm sorry" is also one of the simplest and often kindest ways to express sympathy or regret. A job loss, an illness, a death in the family, or the loss of a pet are all times when you might say "I'm sorry." At these times, keep it simple ---you don't need to elaborate. "I'm sorry you 've had such a tough time. I've been thinking about you."