Common Courtesies
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In our hectic, crowded world it's easy to focus on our own particular agenda, oblivious to those around us.
When we feel anonymous, it somehow gives us permission to behave less courteously than we would with people we know. We don't mean to be rude… we're just in a hurry. Being courteous means taking personal responsibility for the way our actions affect others, showing respect for the space we share and the well-being of those we share it with.
1. COURTESY BEGINS AT HOME
It makes sense that the consideration, respect, and courtesy you show coworkers or even strangers should apply to your families and housemates.
• Don't leave routine chores for others. Empty the dishwasher when it's clean.
• Respect each other's privacy.
• Respect each other’s views, even if you don't share them.
2. OUT IN PUBLIC
You may feel anonymous, but you certainly aren’t invisible, so give some thought to how others might see you.
• Go easy on the cell phone. Try to find a more private place where your call won‘t disturb others.
• Watch your mouth! Curse words that may not faze your peers are likely to offend those who overhear. Be especially mindful when young kids are present.
• Public displays of affection. In public, holding hands, walking arm in arm, or exchanging a light kiss with your significant other can be charming, but prolonged and passionate embraces and kisses are inappropriate.
Line manners are simple and they're the same ones you learned as a preschooler—one at a time; wait your turn; be patient; no pushing, shoving, or shouting; and no "cuts" or jumping ahead of people who arrived before you. And when it is your turn, be sure to greet the person helping you with a smile. It’s not their fault the line is long.
What‘s not okay?
• Making long or private calls on your cell.
• Racing to get ahead of someone who‘s about to get in line.
• Complaining out loud about the wait.
3. HOLDING DOORS AND HOLDING CHAIRS
Today who ever gets to the door first opens it and they should hold the door open for the next person.
If a man isn't sure whether he will offend a woman or be appreciated, he can simply offer her a choice: “May I get the door for you? “ She can reply either “Thanks!” or “No thanks, I've got it. ”
When you and a stranger of either sex approach a door at the same time, it’s polite to open and hold the door if he or she is elderly, disabled, carrying a package, or managing small children. Most important, don't ever let a door close on the person behind you after you've just walked through.
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The guidelines for entering and exiting an elevator are much the same—whoever’s in front goes first.
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If the elevator is already jammed with people, don’t squeeze your way inside. Yes, it's frustrating if you've waited a long time for it to arrive, but be patient and wait for the next car. The same holds true when you find the door closing as you approach.
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While it’s a nice gesture for a passenger to hold the door for you or push the “door open” button, it's equally thoughtful to allow the passengers already aboard to go ahead without you: “I'll catch the next one, thanks.”
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While in transit, don’t stare at others or sing along with your MP3 player. The mirrors are to make the space seem larger, not an invitation to comb your hair or check your teeth. If you see someone you know on an elevator, it's fine to say “Hi” or make a general remark, but be careful about going further unless you’re the only two people aboard. A brief chat is fine, but a gabfest complete with laughter and personal details is annoying to your captive audience.
In an Elevator